SpongeBob SquarePants is gay

The popular cartoon character SpongeBob Squarepants is homosexual, according to a study by the National Commission for the protection of morality in Ukraine, the Ukrainian newspaper Ukraínskaya Pravda reported on Thursday.

The Commission has been studying some of the most popular animated series on Ukrainian television and is set to propose a countrywide ban on some of them, claiming they “present a real threat to children”.

Series like The Simpsons, Family Guy, Pokemon, The Teletubbies and Futurama are “projects aimed at the destruction of the family, and the promotion of drugs and other vices.”

Japanese Anime series are also, they say, “a clear example of sexist propaganda” according to an article published in one of Ukraine’s leading daily newspapers.

According to Irina Medvédeva, a psychologist quoted in the study, children aged between 3 and 5 years, after being exposed to such series, “pull faces and make jokes in front of adults they don’t know, laugh out loud and repeat nonsense phrases in a brazen manner.”

The report goes on to say that “The Teletubbies deliberately aims to create subnormal (men), who spend all day in front of the television with their mouths open swallowing all types of information,” behaviour which, it claims, complies with the “psychology of losers”.